The Laundry Moms at www.thelaundrymoms.com are going to feature an article by yours truly on June 9th. It is based on giving birth to a child with Down Syndrome. It is a great website with tips from parenting to laundry to marriage, so I urge you to go check them out, you won’t be sorry. Don’t forget to go check out my article on June 9, 2014. Thanks.
I don’t know how you do it? I hear it all the time. What do these words mean? How do I do what? Mother? Parent? Survive? People seem to think I have it all put together, I know exactly what I am doing, I am some sort of martyr or saint. I am just a mom who happens to have a special needs child who is doing my best to do what is right for both of my children. If you were to peek into the window of my life on a daily basis you would see that I often feel a lot that most people would never even know.
I often feel isolated, I don’t have many friends who are moms of typical kids and I also don’t have many friends in the Down syndrome community. I never have an easy time making friends so this is especially hard for me. I want and need friends in my life.
When people ask me if i will get a job or go back to teaching, it makes me feel like an enormous failure. I already feel like I am not doing enough. I often times feel like I am failing my child and when you say things like that to me it makes me think oh I really am failing, I am not doing enough.
I often feel like I am failing my typical child as well. Am I doing enough for him? Is he getting enough of my attention? Is he getting what he needs from me?
As a special needs parent you often feel challenged and exhausted each and everyday by the rude comments, the stares, the opinions that are not asked for. As moms we just want to live our lives, love our kids, do the best for them and not have to worry about being judged day in and day out. We have so many struggles that you couldn’t even dream of knowing about, yet you seem to have all the answers.
So if you know a special needs mom, just be a friend to them, try to imagine for a minute what they go through everyday and what it must be like to walk a mile in their shoes. Be kind, make the extra effort. Know that it is probably very hard for them to call you or text you or visit you. If you put in the extra effort, you wouldn’t believe what an amazing friendship you could be a part of. Just be there. I know it is hard. I know it is hard to always be the one who calls, who texts, who visits, who makes plans. But they need you and if you are a true friend you will be there to help. You will be there to understand, to get them out of the house for a few hours, to just be a friend.
FCS is a quarterly subscription box that gives you samples of some really fun and unique bath products. This summer they have such a fun box that is themed after the ever popular Candyland game.
So I showed up at this exercise place for women this morning. I was taught how to eat, what to eat, how much to eat, how many calories. All the women were very kind and supportive of each other, it was so nice to see and to feel comfortable and like I could be friends with people I just met. Feeling great, feeling good, fast forward to the workout. I think the trainer was trying to kill me. No really. She made me run. RUN!!!!!! I don’t run, I can’t run, this is the dialog that plays in my head when I think of running. It was the dialog in my head this morning with a few choice curse words I won’t share here. I ran and lifted weights, and ran some more, and squats and lunges and then it happened, I puked. REALLY????? I am paying for this????? I felt like I was on The Biggest Loser.
I can say that I did the best I could after being thrown in the fire, I ran a little, I couldn’t run like the other ladies there. I couldn’t do as many jumping jacks as them, but I tried and they cheered me on. It was the first time in my life I felt like I had a breakthrough in my health, the first time I felt good about myself, like wow I just did that?????? I FREAKING RAN!!!!!! ME! I RAN! It wasn’t like a 5k or anything in fact it was probably less than 1/2 a mile but I did it.
Then the realization of how incredibly out of shape I am, set in. But I guess I have to start somewhere right? I chose to throw myself into the fire, but hey I am an all or nothing type of gal. This class is every Saturday for a month. Maybe I will get better and will sign up again who knows. I am on a mission to go out of my comfort zone and this certainly did it.