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Category: Mommy Matters

Bestest, Friendliest Friend

I can spread kindness, a smile, thoughtfulness, friendship like peanut butter on a cracker. But ya know what today I am all out of peanut butter, “Damn it!!”   I am a great friend, the bestest friend you will ever have in your entire life.   I am loyal, I am trustworthy, I am a great listener, I am thoughtful, I am all the things you dream of in a friend.   You know when you sit down and think to yourself, I wish I had a friend who thought of me on my birthday, on holidays, who would run over if I needed anything, be a shoulder to cry on, a listening ear, someone to laugh with, hang out with, be goofy with, you name it.   Where is that kind of friend?  Well I am your girl!!! Only most people seem to overlook all of my friendliest friend qualities and not even give me a chance.

I should have told you,  that before I can be your BFF you have to earn my trust, sorry it’s just the way I am, been hurt too many times by too many people. I at first will come across as shy, most people think that I am a bitch, but really that isn’t the case, well sometimes maybe, but for good reason.   If you engage me and talk to me and if I don’t feel like I am being judged, that’s it you’ve cracked the code.   I will talk until your ear falls off, I will listen.

I only wish I could get passed the bitch part ya know?  I think that I suffer with wanting people to like me and accept me syndrome. I always give people the benefit of the doubt and accept them but never seem to get the same in return.  So back to my peanut butter analogy back there.  I am all out.  I am all out of being the friend everyone wants, the friend everyone deserves.  It seems like I only hear from certain friends when they want or need something.

With Facebook I am able to see everyone writing about their friends, their bff’s, their bae’s?????? What the hell is a bae, by the way???? I haven’t a clue.   I have kept a friend I have had since kindergarten who now I only get to see once a year which is sad but I am thankful that I have her even if it is every 365 days.  I have a cousin who I consider my friend. I have met some great friends here in Florida, lifetime friends I believe. But because I have been hurt so many times by people I have a hard time really connecting with and trusting people, but I am working on it.

This friend stuff was hard when I was a kid but it is even harder now.  But I am happy to say that I have learned to let my guard down and I have made some of the best friends I have ever had, here in sunshiny Florida.

Dear Lady Who Fat Shamed Me

To the lady who fat shamed me on vacation with my husband and my children.  You are UGLY.  Now when I say UGLY, I don’ t mean ugly like you would mean ugly. I mean UGLY on the inside.  You are a mean, horrible, ugly person on the inside, which I believe is much worse than being ugly on the outside. So you might want to go on a spiritual kind of diet, learn to be kind, learn to be happy with yourself, learn not to judge people. 

Now I am well aware that I have some weight to lose, believe me I got it, I do own a mirror.  But just like you I was on vacation with my husband and my kids minding my own business and there you were fit as a fiddle in your short dress and sandals.  If you didn’t open your mouth I would have thought you were quite pretty, that your family looked so happy and nice. But nope you opened your trap and your ugly spilled out.  You looked right in my face and said “If I ever get cellulite like that, I will kill myself.” “Some people should not wear shorts!” Wait, what????? Did you really just say what I think you said?
I felt like I was being stabbed, I felt like the little fat kid again being teased in Grammar School.  I am ashamed to say that I let your ugly words ruin my day.  We had plans to go in the pool at our hotel and that didn’t happen because I let your words define me.  I let your words mean something to me, when really they should have meant nothing. When I should have known that what you think about me, has nothing to do with me but everything to do with you.  I am embarrassed that I let your words cause me to miss swimming in the pool with my son.  I am ashamed not of my cellulite but that I let someone’s unkindness make me feel like less of a person, less of a mother, less of a wife.  I am sad that I missed making memories with my family because you are so unhappy in your own life that you have to make someone else feel bad about themselves,  to make yourself feel better.  You obviously are very high maintance with your designer sundress, designer shoes, and lets not forget the designer watch and purse. You obviously took way too long in front of the mirror.  
It was very hot out which is why I had shorts on and I don’t often wear shorts because you see the flaws that you pointed out are exactly the flaws I see in myself, the very flaws that I am self conscious about.  So it is a rare occassion that I wear shorts. But I was having so much fun with my family, making a conscious effort to show up in pictures with my kids and not caring what anyone thought.   Then you showed up thinking I couldn’t hear you because apparently if you are fat you are also deaf.
This is not the first time that I have dealt with people belittling me because of my weight, it happened all the time as a child by my own family members and friends.  So this is not my first rodeo as they say. I have dealt with people and their views of how I should look for a long time and I am tired of it. You know that saying, you know the one your mother should have taught you but didn’t.  “If you don’t have anything nice to say than don’t say anything at all.”
This happened this past summer and it has taken me this long to put it out there. It was hurtful and embarrassing.  But I learned that her opinion of me is of no value to me whatsoever.  I have so many things in my life to be happy about and thankful for.   I am working on my physical self and I hope to look as good in a dress one day as she did  but I know that my inner self, my kindness, my happieness, my joy is in tip top shape which is more than I can say for some people.
I wanted to make a video about it, but I can express my feelings better when I write. 
Check out my youtube channel

Q&A Ask Away & I Will Answer

So I am doing Q & A over on my youtube channel as well as here on my blog.  So if you have any questions for me please ask me here or over on my channel. I will do my best to answer them all.  I hope everyone is doing well. I will be blogging for the month of February all around the theme of LOVE so stay tuned for that.  I will be talking to you all soon.

38 things I Learned On My 38th Birthday

I am 38 years old today. 38 years and there are many things that I still haven’t figured out, like how to be in the best shape of my life, or what it’s like to live in my own home, or what it’s like to be debt free.  But I am getting there, slowly but surely I am getting there.  There are some things that I have learned though and I thought I would share 38 of them in honor of my 38th birthday.                              1. True and dear friends are very hard to come by if you have them, cherish them, spend time with them.                                                                                                                                                           2.You can’t change anyone but you so get to changing.                                                                                     3. I don’t regret the things I have done, but I do regret the things I haven’t done, like have fun, I have always been well for lack of a better word a stick in the mud.                                                                 4. I spent way too much time in my life worrying about what people thought of me.  In the words of my cousin, (who gives a flying f&#@) what anyone thinks.                                                                     5. When it comes to shoes ALWAYS GO FOR COMFORT, you’re welcome.                                                    6. Always trust your gut, ALWAYS.                                                                                                          7. Even if I think that I am right it doesn’t mean that I am, I mean 99.9% of the time I am right but that .1% I could be wrong.                                                                                                                          8. Be me, no one else is me, and I am a great person to be.                                                                         9. Keep negative people and unkind people out of your life.                                                                  10. You can’t avoid offending people sometimes, if you are wrong, apologize, it’s all you can do.         11. Count my blessings, I truly have so much to be thankful for.                                                            12. Be fair, honest, trustworthy and generous.                                                                                         13. Don’t hold grudges, it’s really not worth your time or energy.                                                            14. Learn to take a hint,                                                                                                                                 15. Forgive and forget                                                                                                                               16. My parents will always have my back no matter what.                                                                           17. The older I get the less drama I am willing to put up with.                                                                      18. Say what you mean and mean what you say                                                                                       19. Be considerate of others                                                                                                                            20. Do things out of your comfort zone (I am still working on this……baby steps)                                         21.Surround yourself with people who love you and support you, the ones who want to tear you down are not worth it.                                                                                                                                               22. Laugh                                                                                                                                                        23. Kisses and hugs from hubby and my kids are the best                                                                             24. Take lots of pictures and videos                                                                                                          25. I have everything I need to be happy.                                                                                                      26. The only important things in life are the little things- enjoy them all.                                                      27.  It will all be okay eventually.                                                                                                                   28. Don’t be afraid to ask for help.                                                                                                                       29. Put effort into yourself.                                                                                                                                       30. Disney isn’t just for kids……true story.                                                                                                     31. This too shall pass                                                                                                                                      32.Change is good, really.                                                                                                                               33. You will never please everyone                                                                                                                34. Focus more on the NOW. (still working on this)                                                                                35.Don’t be so serious all the time (have a little fun once in a while) see #3 for stick in the mud reference.                                                                                                                                                       36.Be someone who makes other people feel special.                                                                                    37. Stop explaining myself to people- if they don’t like your choices screw em.                                             38. Do the things you love                                                                                                                              Like I said I am still learning how to implement a lot of these things in my life but in 2015 I am definitely going to try to have more fun.                                                                                                                                                    

I’m Baaaaaaack

New Year, new hopes, new aspirations, new goals, you know the drill.  So I have really let this blog go in the past few months and I don’t want to do that anymore.  I want to try and make it a priority.  So I have decided to commit to posting once a week.  The post will be my week in review basically and I will add other posts if things come up.  I want to get back into the swing of things and get this blog going again.  So stay tuned and I will be back in action on My Hands and Heart are Full.  Thanks for reading and for your support and I look forward to getting back into the groove of writing again.

Biggest Pet Peeves

1. People who don’t give up their seats for old, pregnant or women with kids.
2. People who lie
3. People who are full of themselves
4. People who think they are entitled
5. Poor grammar
6. Loud chewing
7. When people use the word literally all the time and incorrectly
8. Women who do not clean up after themselves in a public restroom
9. Negativity
10. People who do not cover their mouths to cough or sneeze

Current Songs I am Loving

1. Shake It Off – Taylor Swift
2. All about that Bass- Megan Trainor
3. Welcome to NY – Taylor Swift
4. Something in the Water- Carrie Underwood
5. All of Me – John Legend
6. A Thousand Years- Katy Perry
7. Frozen Album
8. Chandelier- Sia
9. Rude- Magic
10. Already Home- A Great Big World

How to Win My Heart

  1. Make me laugh.
  2. Engage me in conversation about something you’re passionate about or something I’m passionate about.
  3. Do fun things with me
  4. Be silly and adventurous with me.
  5. Learn new things with me
  6. Encourage my dreams.
  7. Challenge me intellectually and physically.
  8. Take care of me. 
  9. Make me feel important to you!
  10. Do romantic things for me.

Quotes I Love

My favorite quotes are

“Don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened.” 
― Dr. Seuss

“Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind.” 
― Bernard M. Baruch

“Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.” 
― Oscar Wilde

“To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.” 
― Ralph Waldo Emerson

“Life is what happens to you while you’re busy making other plans.” 
― Allen Saunders

“That which does not kill us makes us stronger.” 
― Friedrich Nietzsche

50 Random Facts About Me

50 FACTS ABOUT ME

1. I am an only child
2.  I grew up in the Bronx
3.  Before being a SAHM I was a 5th grade teacher
4.  I have a Master’s Degree in Education
5.  I am shy
6.  I am a homebody
7.  I don’t have many friends
8.  I love anything DISNEY
9.  I collect Disney mugs
10. I am a Capricorn
11. I love artichokes
12. I hate snow
13. I did not know my daughter was going to be born with Down Syndrome
14. I like to make schedules (most of which I never follow)
15. I have always wanted a surprise party
16. I love planning birthdays for my kids
17. I can’t dance
18. I can’t sing
19. I can’t play an instrument
20. I have always wanted to try a Yoga class
21. I love the beach
22. I hope to someday soon be comfortable in my own skin
23. I often feel let down by people
24. It is very hard for me to make new friends.
25. I wish I could play the guitar
26. I want to take photography classes
27. I want to take art classes
28. I bore easily
29. I love to do arts and crafts
30. I love to cook
31. I am a great friend
32. I want to go to Italy one day
32. I want to go on a Disney Cruise
33. I have been disappointed in my life more times than I can count
34. I want to take a cross country trip
35. I have always wanted to live in Manhattan
36. I wish I could draw
37. I wish I had siblings
38. I hate that people are very judgmental of me
39. I am a lefty
40. I have a lot of regrets about how I handled certain situations in my life.
41. I was made fun of as a child
42. I often feel invisible
43. I worry
44. It bothers me when people just don’t get it
45. I hate explaining myself and my choices to people
46. I am never going back to teaching (those of you who are curious)
47. I love reality TV
48. My kids are my life
49. Our daughter’s medical debt has kept us from doing a lot in our lives, but she is worth it.
50. I always feel like I don’t know when the rug is going to be pulled out from under me