Bestest, Friendliest Friend

I can spread kindness, a smile, thoughtfulness, friendship like peanut butter on a cracker. But ya know what today I am all out of peanut butter, “Damn it!!”   I am a great friend, the bestest friend you will ever have in your entire life.   I am loyal, I am trustworthy, I am a great listener, I am thoughtful, I am all the things you dream of in a friend.   You know when you sit down and think to yourself, I wish I had a friend who thought of me on my birthday, on holidays, who would run over if I needed anything, be a shoulder to cry on, a listening ear, someone to laugh with, hang out with, be goofy with, you name it.   Where is that kind of friend?  Well I am your girl!!! Only most people seem to overlook all of my friendliest friend qualities and not even give me a chance.

I should have told you,  that before I can be your BFF you have to earn my trust, sorry it’s just the way I am, been hurt too many times by too many people. I at first will come across as shy, most people think that I am a bitch, but really that isn’t the case, well sometimes maybe, but for good reason.   If you engage me and talk to me and if I don’t feel like I am being judged, that’s it you’ve cracked the code.   I will talk until your ear falls off, I will listen.

I only wish I could get passed the bitch part ya know?  I think that I suffer with wanting people to like me and accept me syndrome. I always give people the benefit of the doubt and accept them but never seem to get the same in return.  So back to my peanut butter analogy back there.  I am all out.  I am all out of being the friend everyone wants, the friend everyone deserves.  It seems like I only hear from certain friends when they want or need something.

With Facebook I am able to see everyone writing about their friends, their bff’s, their bae’s?????? What the hell is a bae, by the way???? I haven’t a clue.   I have kept a friend I have had since kindergarten who now I only get to see once a year which is sad but I am thankful that I have her even if it is every 365 days.  I have a cousin who I consider my friend. I have met some great friends here in Florida, lifetime friends I believe. But because I have been hurt so many times by people I have a hard time really connecting with and trusting people, but I am working on it.

This friend stuff was hard when I was a kid but it is even harder now.  But I am happy to say that I have learned to let my guard down and I have made some of the best friends I have ever had, here in sunshiny Florida.

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MyHandsAndHeartAreFull

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